I had a plan. I was going to university straight out of high school. I would have a degree in 4 years and then get my masters degree. I would be a psychologist by the time I was 23 and have all my student loans paid off the following year. That didn’t happen.
I have struggled with depression since I was 14, but it reached its peak during my first semester of my first year of university. I just wanted to sleep all the time. It was a struggle to get out of bed. I was always so stressed and I loathed myself. I skipped classes and cried every night. So I started drinking… heavily. I would have at least a bottle of wine every second day (which is a lot for someone my size). Some days I was still so drunk in the morning I couldn’t drive to school. Hating myself, I pushed my friends away because I thought they would be better without me.
The best decision of my life was to leave full time university and start doing it myself online with a lot less courses. If I would have stayed, I would have died. But it changed my life. I am not going to be a psychologist anymore. I will not get a degree in 4 years. And I will not be making a 6 figure pay check by the time I am 23. But I am happy.
I have a good life with great people and I have a future that although not planned, will be great. I would rather be happy and alive and get a degree in 5 years than be a miserable alcoholic.